Poem: To the Cockroach That Ran Inside my House (or I’m Not being Serious Here)

Standard

lf-bug-834021_640

Did you know: articles

have confirmed that our state

is the most infested with you,

your germy offspring,

your ugly sex mates,

the rest of your creepy critter

buds that gather under the streetlight

at the first sign of humidity.

They say you love the moisture,

thrive in heat; well, you’re right at home.

 

But now you’re right at home

in my apartment.

(I just find it funny that you were never invited.)

You are skittering  across

my living room carpet, found this audacity

to wave your antenna

and ignore my screams, fears that

you could spread your wings.

 

(In this region, we’re so brave until you start to fly)

 

I heard you will, one day, survive a nuclear

war. I don’t know, but I found out you can survive

bleach in a water pump,

bathroom cleaner,

hairspray,

sometimes a visit from pest control.

A friend told me you’ll succumb

to dish washing liquid, but I’ll

find out later. Tonight, I was generous.

You walked towards the front door and I shooed you

out with a broom. If you’re smart, you’ll remind

yourself not to return.

 

If not–I just purchased Raid. Or, the last

thing you will see is Morris Bart’s face

on a telephone book, as he descends from your sky.

Perhaps, before  it crushes your exoskeleton,

you can memorize his phone number, just

in case he starts taking a personal

injury case from non human species.

So remember, it’s:

Five two five, eight thous–

THE END

Note: Because sometimes, poetry doesn’t have to take itself seriously. I just like to make my husband laugh with this

 

 

 

Advertisements

2 responses »

  1. I see you are in New Orleans. I just knew from the read you lived her in Charleston SC…the Palmetto state (are they nuts?) – they name their state after bugs yuck!!!
    and they fly here too, so I’m told. I’ve not yet been attacked. Well, not by a roach but a frog jumped on me about a week after we arrived. I screamed. Snakes, bugs, buzzards, hawks, spiders, lizards, and frogs…the Low Country is a terrifying place. Perhaps I should start writing horror stories.
    LOVED this 🙂

    • You’re right, naming their state after the palmetto bug…eww.
      I’ve only been attacked by a flying cockroach once when I was a little girl…ugh horrible memory. And all of the animals you described, I’ve had to deal with them here too. Glad you could relate to this and glad you enjoyed this!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s