New Attitude

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I’m just writing to let you know

That I’m doing okay and moving on

(trying).

You left behind a new attitude

For me to try on and it’s been working

As I discover that there’s life after you,

staying busy while letting go,

Feeling the highs,

Brand new perspectives

After the comedown

–repeat.

 

I’m not pacing my breath on the balcony. Nowadays,

I climb the narrow, winding staircase

On Esplanade and step right into the thickest

Hour of the party, watch bodies drown happily in

the speakers’ violence,

The floor’s vibrations,

And I sweat too, alive underwater.

Last night, I danced with a man visiting

From Spain, forgot his name, but we talked

About the history,

Philosophy

Of each other

In the humid stench

because it’s easier to be candid when you’re

Drunk (but getting easier while sober).

 

I had my last appointment with the therapist

That same evening. She told me that I would never

Get over you—

The past is too clingy to let us go, so don’t even

Bother. But I can learn how to dance,

Laugh,

taste different concepts,

listen to the vibe of an acquaintance

As you watch in the corner.

 

You can trail behind me as I stagger upstairs home,

keep an eye on the strangers I can’t see

hiding in the blind spots. You’re even allowed

to be there the morning after

as I wake and leave on time,

but just let me let go

as I walk into the next chapter

unafraid and striding, at full speed ahead.

 

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