Tag Archives: mental health

Social Anxiety (part III)

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Thank you for the invitation.

But I must be leaving early.

They noticed the cracks

in my head the second I entered

the room. And you can do better

than a burden.

Curve in the Road

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Once, my father won the rat race

and then it wasn’t worth it.

 

Cause life was going the way he planned

until the man hit him on a dead man’s

curve. He broke his legs, but lost his

mind the most (though, denied it).

Suddenly there wasn’t

a plan, just a lot of twists like the country

roads ahead. From his wheelchair, he threw

a mouthful

a fistful

of revenge to anyone close by.

Life needed to be punished, after all.

 

I was close by.

And I’ve been weird like this ever since.

Obsessive Compulsive (Revisions)

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Preventing a car accident is easy:

 

Be sure to wipe your hands on your jeans

before touching the steering wheel.

Set the radio’s volume to an even number.

Turn on the CD player. Keep

“Hell’s Bells”

on repeat while on the bridge or interstate.

Count to ten.

(Repeat when necessary).

Keep gum in the cup holder for good luck

good behavior,

good outcome,

but don’t touch it until you’re safe at home again.

 

-None of this makes sense.

-No. But it’s been working. So just in case….

A Little Obsessive Compulsive (Revised)

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Preventing a car accident is easy:

 

Be sure to wipe your hands on your jeans

before touching the steering wheel.

Set the radio’s volume to an even number.

Turn on the CD player and keep

“Hell’s Bells”

on repeat while on the bridge or interstate.

Count to ten.

(Repeat when necessary).

Keep gum in the cup holder for good luck

good behavior,

good outcome,

but don’t touch it until you’re safe at home again.

 

-None of this makes sense.

-No. But it’s been working. So just in case….

Well

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I think about how easy it would be to stop trying,

throw the orange vial in a junk drawer and forget

about keeping a job,

getting a master’s

waking up to clean the house

comb my hair,

make eye contact

and speak “well” with a stranger.

 

It was easy until I met you. It’s getting harder

to disappoint when you’re watching.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Social Anxiety Part II

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I am not too afraid
Of rejection. In fact, I’ve learned
to wait for it. It’s easy;

  1. just wait for the adrenaline,
  2. take deep breaths so you don’t choke,
  3. count to pace the heart
  4. then try not to flinch,
  5. while bracing for impact.

But when you eagerly
Invite me, it’s like
this poem, returned to me
with too many red lines across whole
sentences: what to do with this
now?

And what to do with you,
now that you’ve changed the script?